i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
