Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
