i was born a porn star she said
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
