Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
