i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
