Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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