Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
