So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
