so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
