She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
