So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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