Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's never too late to be topless.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
