Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
