booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
