that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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