i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
