Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
