Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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