Fuck appropriateness.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
