dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Your penis caused this!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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