i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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