my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
