their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
