People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I need to stop coming to work sober
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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