As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
