that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
