Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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