a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
