she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
