Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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