this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
