My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Panties = found
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