Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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