2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
