He is an equal opportunity slut.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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