So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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