Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
