no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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