why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
