So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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