I'm drive I can fine osifer
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
