North Korea, Best Korea!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
