I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
