would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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