Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
