I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
