I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
