It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
