end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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