you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
