Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
