I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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