ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
